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The Two-Headed Monster
On this Halloween night, had to be one of the funniest and most enjoyable nights I have ever spent.  And, over a decade later, I think back about the Halloween party at the elementary school, and I still burst into laughter!

It was Halloween night (1995) and my wife and I took our boys, ages 10 and 12 to a Halloween party at the local elemntary school, which both boys attended.  This was the first time I had attended a Halloween like this, so I didn't know what to expect.

We arrived at the school, and all of us headed for the school cafeteria, where the festivities were supposed to take place.  All along the way, I noticed dozens of dids dressed up in scary, and creative costumes...lots of color everywhere.  And, there would be lots of goodies for everyone later on.  Our boys were dressed up as well, and they would compted for prizes at the party, too.  There would be a Grand Prize awarded for the best costume at the end of the night. 

When we arrived at the cafeteria, my wife and the boys headed off someplace to see friends they knew, and I sat at an an empty table and sat alone.  A couple of tables away, I noticed two boys about ten years old, working on their costume.  They had a pair of large men's gray cover-alls, and they were down on the floor, spreading the cover-alls on the floor.  They were meticulously enlarging the pant holes and straightening out the costume.  At that point, I couldn't imagine what they were doing.

What they were doing, was positioning the cover-all on the floor, with the pant holes just right.  Then they both stepped into the pant legs...one boy in front of the other boy, and the boy in back had his arms around the waist of the boy in front.  Next, they both gently and carefully pulled the cover-alls up to cover both boys, and they zipped up the front.  Now, both boys were in a single pair of cover-alls.  (Did you get all that?)

The extra-large pair of cover-alls were big enough to house both boys, and now they were ready for the next step.  I still didn't know what was going on with these two boys, and I was already starting to laugh!  On the table next to them, were two hideous looking rubber masks the boys would wear...filled with pimples; fake blood, runny-looking stuff and proturding teeth...and the masks were simply gross!  I still had no idea what the two boys were supposed to be, so I asked!

"We're the Two-Headed Monster," came the reply from behind one of the masks. I should have known, as I fell back in my chair with laughter!  I could feel myself coming unglued at the thought at what these two boys were going to do in this costume.  It was amazing that these two boys came up with such a clever idea such as this.  The idea to do this, was obviously going to take a little coordination between the two boys, since they were both in the same suit.

After a few more minutes of last-minute preparations, there was a count-down...hup...1...2...3 and they were off, and they lumbered across the cafeteria, and I followed just a few feet away!  There were times when I thought they would topple over, but they never did.  The first thing I noticed from the beginning, was the fussing and fighting they did from the beginning of their journey right to the end of the night!  Underneath those masks, they argued about everything!

The laughing on my part got worse, as I followed them all up and down the hallways, into the classrooms, watching and laughing at their every move!  It was hilarious!  For more than 40 minutes, I followed these two boys around the school...everywhere they went, I was not far behind...laughing and laughing!  One of the things that made it funnier, was the fact that they kept arguing with each other..."go this way,"...or "your're stopping too fast,"..."tell me when you're going to stop!" and so forth.  The fussing and fighting underneath those masks made it all that more funny, etc.

As they lumbered along, I thought for sure they were going to take a tumble, but they never did...and sometimes they would stray to the left...and then to the right...but they never went down!  They made me laugh all along the way around the school, and what a joy it was to watch them.

Finally, as the night wore on, it was time for the judging for the best costumes, in general, and then for the Grand Prize winner for the best costume.  There was a lot of excitement in the cafeteria that night.  What an anxious moment, as a man stood at the podium (probably a teacher), and he called out various winners in different categories.  The winners went up to the stage and claimed their prizes, etc. 

As things got tense, it was now time for the announcement of the Grand Prize to be awarded, and the man at the podium, was handed a piece of paper from one of the judges, and he read from the paper.  There was silence...as the man stated, "The Grand Prize for the best costume goes to ...more silence...the Two-Headed Monster!  Cheers, screams, and applause rang out across the cafeteria! 

And, then it happened!  The two boys had not yet gotten out of their costume, and in their haste in winning the Grand Prize, they took a spill, trying to get up to the podium!  A couple of adults quickly helped them get out of the cover-alls, as they were struggling to get out!  When they finally got untangled, they were giving high-fives to each other, and to the kids around them!  There was joy, screaming and shouting everywhere!

I was happy for them, and they certainly deserved the Grand Prize...as they entertained a lot of people and made them laugh all night!  I will never forget this night as I had so much fun, and I will never forget the Two-Headed Monster!
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Copyright; Jerry Aragon; 2007
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To all the young people out there...STAY IN SCHOOL!
Jerry Aragon/The Humor Doctor           humordoctormd@gmail.com
Main Street/Front Page                         Free Stuff/Come see
Site Map/site contents                          The Creative Center
Writers Section                                     The Humor Clinic
The Funny Farm                                   Book: BumpyRoad of Life