For nearly 20 years, I took a first-class pasting from the crippling and unforgiving migraine headaches, and I lived a pretty bleak existence for many years! I found myself nearly homeless several times, and my confidence was at an all-time low or didn't exist!
Confidence (definition) belef in one's abilities
All of us need confidence in our daily lives, to try to excel at the things we do, and to survive as well.
Self-respect: This is where it all begins, and these two words could be the most important words in the dictionary. As I said previously, I took many , many hits with the migraine headaches, which shattered my life for many years, etc. But, despite the bleak existence and the gloom and doom in my life for so long, I have always had self-respect for myself. At my lowest and darkest moments, I have always liked myself, and I have always felt I had something to offer, and could be a productive citizen, just like anyone else.
For those people who have been told over and over again, that they're worthless and will never amount to anything, they have to find a positive and honest person they can trust, and they have to start working on getting your self-respect back. Getting back your confidence won't be easy, and will require time and patience.
Honesty: In recovery, a person MUST be honest with himself or herself. You can't be in denial about the things that have crossed your path, and which you are responsible for. Blaming everybody in the world for your woes is the easy way out, and you will never recover. Look at yourself first. What part did you play in getting where you are? Be honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself...who can you be honest with? If you're not honest with yourself...you're finished!
Negativism: Get rid of the negative people in your life, that are bringing you down! I don't like and will not tolerate negative people around and I show them the door very quickly. These people dwell on what they can't do...instead of what they can do. Many times, they're people of "put-down," jealousy and resentment, and critizize others. I don't need these people to ruin my life!
Failure vs. Set-back: Although, it took many years to get my confidence back, one of the reasons it is high, is because I never like to use the word, "failure." Instead, I like to use the words, "set-back." I do this, because I've never failed at anything, as long as I've tried! As long as I TRY...that's the most important thing...and that's all I can ask of myself! For those people who never try...they're the failures and losers in the world.
I remember back when I participated in the arts and crafts shows, not everything was peaches and cream, etc. I had my share of bombs! But, when this happened, I didn't fail at the shows...I only had a set-back, and later I would bounce back and get my share of the wins, etc. You win a few and you lose a few and I'm not a failure at anything!
Smart/creative people: I've always liked to be around smart and creative people who I can learn from, and my confidence has to be high to do this. I've never claimed to be the fastest horse in the race, nor am I a candidate for membership in the American Dufus Society, either.
Learner and a doer: I've always been a learner and a doer. "Jerry, can you solder?" No, but I can learn. "Jerry, can you run that machine over there?" No, but I can learn. "Jerry, do you know how to assemble these parts?" No, but I can learn.
Praise: Praise is never given out for free...it has to be earned. Over the years, I have completed three writing courses (in my 40's); I have participated in over 40 arts and crafts shows; I have promoted six of my own; I have been a woodcarver for over 25 years; I have built an award-winning website, and I have embraced all the praise that comes with it! But, there's no free lunch...no pie in the sky...and no magic dust, either...and you'll have to earn your stripes, too! My confidence remains high when somebody likes me and my work.
You can't please everyone...so don't try: Trying to please everyone is a confidence-BUSTER for sure! My ex-wife was a person who tried to please everyone, and she found herself headed for the mental institution...she did not pass GO...and she did not collect $200.00. If people like me and my work...fine. If not...they can go and waste somebody else's time!
Laughter is the best medicine: I've been in the humor business for over 50 years, and there is no better confidence-builder or satisfaction, than to put a smile on somebody's face, and I've done it countless times. Because of the humor, I make friends easily, and because of this, I can pick and choose friends and tell those I don't want around me to hit the road.
All of us are going to have to decide which road to take...the high road or the low road. I decided many years ago, to take the high road, and that's another reason my confidence is high. As you might have guessed, I do have a lot of confidence in myself. So much so, that I can even walk on water...as long as the pond is