To all the young people out there...STAY IN SCHOOL!.
===================================================
Jerry Aragon/Humor Doctor                     humordoctormd@yahoo.com
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Statistics show that over 50 percent of the American
people are overweight...and, I didn't want to be
a member of that club...so I had to lose weight!

Growing up, I was always a skinny little kid, so weight was never a problem.
So much so, that I had to run around in the shower just to get wet!  Weight
was never a problem in my family, either.

Later, in my adult years...I have never had a weight problem , and I've
pretty much maintained my weight at about 170-175 pounds.

                         And, I've never been a big eater, either...okay..so I lied!
                         There's been a time or two, when I've eaten a whole heard
                          of cattle, and an entire bakery...so what?

Go straight to Fatty Clinic...do not pass go...

For several months, something was not right with me.  My clothes were not fitting right; I was feeling sluggish; not sleeping right; short-tempered, etc

I rarely ever weighed myself, because my weight was always pretty much the same for many years, so I didn't know what the problem was.

One day, I went in for my annual physical exam, and when I got on the scale,
I was shocked...I was astonished...I weighed in at ...209 pounds!  Now, those of you out there, who cast large shadows, may think this may be small potatoes...but, it was a BIG deal to me!

I had never weighed this much in my entire life...not even close!  I had to do something about it...and right away.  I could feel my self-esteem and self-
respect was being affected, as awful thoughts began to cross my mind:

    *  I was going to have to buy two tickets on the bus or airplane!
    *  If I jumped into the ocean...all the water would come out!
    *  The Post Office was going to issue ME my own zip code.
    *  Instead of jogging around the block...neighbors would jog around ME!
       
I had a awful nightmare one night,  where everybody was calling me, "Mr Piggy"  And, then a wedding date was set to marry Miss Piggy...no...no...no...never...I woke up in a cold sweat...no...no...no...I'll lose weight....I'll lose weight!

The bathroom scale was old, so I stopped on my way back from the doctor's office, to buy another.  The first thing I did when I got home, was junp on the new scale, and sure enough...209 POUNDS!I WAS DEPRESSED!

It took me a couple of days to think things out...I had to try to figure out what to do.  I knew there would be no magic dust; no easy street;  no free lunch.
What to do?  I knew if I didn't get this weight off, I would be headed for Fatty
Clinic for professional help...and, delaying everying would be worse.
I had to act right away!


After much thought, I decided to do two things: 1) Moderation:
If there was ever a junk food junkie...it's ME!  I have a sweet tooth like my mother...I love candy; ice cream; cookies, etc.  Chips; tacos; pizza...everything...and I eat it all the time.  I decided to try moderation to start...whereby instead of eating two eggs...one egg...two pieces of toast...just one...3 tacos...just one...a sack of popcorn...just halfetc..  Everything I would eat in the coming weeks and months would be cut in half or less...and, I would maintain the same quality of life...only do it with less.  (sad, eh?)

2) Lose five pounds at a time:  The thought of losing 35-40 pounds was overwhelming, and didn't sit right with me.  But, I thought losing five pounds at a time could be done, so I got started.

Like anything else worthwhile, it was going to take discipline; determination;
comittment; agony; pain at seeing all those ice cream cones disapearing into the night!  Lose.five pounds at a time...the battle was on!

The bathroom scale now became my best friend, and I was on it all the time,
checking my progress.  And, progress I did make.  I lost more than five pounds in the first two weeks...Celebration!  (Put the pizza away, Jer)

Over the next several weeks and months, I cut the portions of everything I ate, and I was still enjoying life...but, not as much!  (sob-sob).  I then went under 200 pounds..then under 195...and, now we're talking....but it was the worst roller-coaster ride imaginable...up and down...up and down!  Just when I think I'd win...I would lose the battle again...frustration...and more frustration!

Week after week...it was a roller coaster ride,  but I continued to make progress, so I was happy because...slowly...ever so slowly, I was winning the battle...

Six months had gone by now, and I was joyfully at the 180 mark...self-esteem
was going back up...and, I felt much better about myself.  But, it was getting under the 180 pound mark that was tough!  It took me over THREE months to do it!  Under 180...over  180...under 180...over 180...this was a roller coaster ride I would never forget!

I've only been is a health food store once...(and, it was scary) so, I don't eat pumpkin seeds and fish eyes, and all that stuff.  I take garlic oil and vitamins, etc.  But, most of all, to stay healthy, I've been jogging and walking between 10-15 miles per week since 1986...without fail.  I think this is one of the most important things in keeping fit....sweat it all out...and, I  feel better for it!

Just Say No

After ten months, I got my weight down to 170-175, and I've kept it there,
but it hasn't been easy.  One thing four years in the Air Force taught me...discipline!  I must have the disipline to just say no...no to potluck
parties at work;  pizza and birthday cake at work; (sob-sob).

Today, (2004), I eat everything I want ...only not as much, and eating an entire heard of cattle and a bakery...well...gee...(stop it, Jer)

If you are having problems with your weight, you might try what I did.  If you do
stay with it...theres's no free lunch.(get it?)..and I hope you succeed.  Let me know how you are doing.  YOU CAN DO IT!...Jer

                              This is me today...
                               WOW, Jer




This is me before
FATTY CLINIC
Statistics show that over 50 percent of the American
people are overweight...and, I didn't want to be
a member of that club...so I had to lose weight!

Growing up, I was always a skinny little kid, so weight was never a problem.
So much so, that I had to run around in the shower just to get wet!  Weight
was never a problem in my family, either.

Later, in my adult years...I have never had a weight problem , and I've
pretty much maintained my weight at about 170-175 pounds.

                         And, I've never been a big eater, either...okay..so I lied!
                         There's been a time or two, when I've eaten a whole heard
                          of cattle, and an entire bakery...so what?

Go straight to Fatty Clinic...do not pass go...

For several months, something was not right with me.  My clothes were not fitting right; I was feeling sluggish; not sleeping right; short-tempered, etc

I rarely ever weighed myself, because my weight was always pretty much the same for many years, so I didn't know what the problem was.

One day, I went in for my annual physical exam, and when I got on the scale,
I was shocked...I was astonished...I weighed in at ...209 pounds!  Now, those of you out there, who cast large shadows, may think this may be small potatoes...but, it was a BIG deal to me!

I had never weighed this much in my entire life...not even close!  I had to do something about it...and right away.  I could feel my self-esteem and self-
respect was being affected, as awful thoughts began to cross my mind:

    *  I was going to have to buy two tickets on the bus or airplane!
    *  If I jumped into the ocean...all the water would come out!
    *  The Post Office was going to issue ME my own zip code.
    *  Instead of jogging around the block...neighbors would jog around ME!
       
I had a awful nightmare one night,  where everybody was calling me, "Mr Piggy"  And, then a wedding date was set to marry Miss Piggy...no...no...no...never...I woke up in a cold sweat...no...no...no...I'll lose weight....I'll lose weight!

The bathroom scale was old, so I stopped on my way back from the doctor's office, to buy another.  The first thing I did when I got home, was junp on the new scale, and sure enough...209 POUNDS!I WAS DEPRESSED!

It took me a couple of days to think things out...I had to try to figure out what to do.  I knew there would be no magic dust; no easy street;  no free lunch.
What to do?  I knew if I didn't get this weight off, I would be headed for Fatty
Clinic for professional help...and, delaying everying would be worse.
I had to act right away!


After much thought, I decided to do two things: 1) Moderation:
If there was ever a junk food junkie...it's ME!  I have a sweet tooth like my mother...I love candy; ice cream; cookies, etc.  Chips; tacos; pizza...everything...and I eat it all the time.  I decided to try moderation to start...whereby instead of eating two eggs...one egg...two pieces of toast...just one...3 tacos...just one...a sack of popcorn...just halfetc..  Everything I would eat in the coming weeks and months would be cut in half or less...and, I would maintain the same quality of life...only do it with less.  (sad, eh?)

2) Lose five pounds at a time:  The thought of losing 35-40 pounds was overwhelming, and didn't sit right with me.  But, I thought losing five pounds at a time could be done, so I got started.

Like anything else worthwhile, it was going to take discipline; determination;
comittment; agony; pain at seeing all those ice cream cones disapearing into the night!  Lose.five pounds at a time...the battle was on!

The bathroom scale now became my best friend, and I was on it all the time,
checking my progress.  And, progress I did make.  I lost more than five pounds in the first two weeks...Celebration!  (Put the pizza away, Jer)

Over the next several weeks and months, I cut the portions of everything I ate, and I was still enjoying life...but, not as much!  (sob-sob).  I then went under 200 pounds..then under 195...and, now we're talking....but it was the worst roller-coaster ride imaginable...up and down...up and down!  Just when I think I'd win...I would lose the battle again...frustration...and more frustration!

Week after week...it was a roller coaster ride,  but I continued to make progress, so I was happy because...slowly...ever so slowly, I was winning the battle...

Six months had gone by now, and I was joyfully at the 180 mark...self-esteem
was going back up...and, I felt much better about myself.  But, it was getting under the 180 pound mark that was tough!  It took me over THREE months to do it!  Under 180...over  180...under 180...over 180...this was a roller coaster ride I would never forget!

I've only been is a health food store once...(and, it was scary) so, I don't eat pumpkin seeds and fish eyes, and all that stuff.  I take garlic oil and vitamins, etc.  But, most of all, to stay healthy, I've been jogging and walking between 10-15 miles per week since 1986...without fail.  I think this is one of the most important things in keeping fit....sweat it all out...and, I  feel better for it!

Just Say No

After ten months, I got my weight down to 170-175, and I've kept it there,
but it hasn't been easy.  One thing four years in the Air Force taught me...discipline!  I must have the disipline to just say no...no to potluck
parties at work;  pizza and birthday cake at work; (sob-sob).

Today, (2004), I eat everything I want ...only not as much, and eating an entire heard of cattle and a bakery...well...gee...(stop it, Jer)

If you are having problems with your weight, you might try what I did.  If you do
stay with it...theres's no free lunch.(get it?)..and I hope you succeed.  Let me know how you are doing.  YOU CAN DO IT!...Jer

                              This is me today...
                               WOW, Jer




To all the young people out there...STAY IN SCHOOL!.
===================================================
Jerry Aragon/Humor Doctor                     humordoctormd@yahoo.com
Main Street/Front Page                            Visitor's Center/What's new
Site map/site contents                             The Creative Center
Writing Section                                        The Humor Clinic
The Funny Farm                                      Exchanging links page