To all the young people out there...STAY IN SCHOOL!
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Does Life Begin at 40?
In the year 2007, young is IN!  Everybody's into looking young these days!  There are four categories of age in America.  They are: 1) the young; 2) middle-age; 3) the old and 4) and my, my but you're looking good these days! 

A few years ago, there was a woman, who reported the news for many years on one of the major news networts.  She was around 45-50 years old, but I never heard her exact age.  She openly reported that she had already had three face-lifts, and she was going to have another one, at about $5,000 a pop!

She allowed the cameras to roll during the preparation of the surgery...the actual surgery and the aftermath, and the healing process of the face-lift itself...bangages and all.  After a few months of healing, the woman looked good...no wrinkles; no lines in her face, etc.  But, you know what?  Despite all the money she spent on face-lifts, she still looked 45-50 years old.  She looked BETTER...but she didn't look YOUNGER!  Shortly thereafter, this woman dissapeared from news on television, and I have not seen her anywhere in over five years! 

So, is a face-lift going to help a person look younger?  In my opinion...of course not!  Like the nescaster, the person may look BETTER...but, that person will not look YOUNGER!  If you're 40 years old...you look 40.  If you're 50 years old...you look 50, and nothing can change that.  Yes, there are some exceptions...there a few people who look younger than their age...Goldie Hawn; Sally Field; Dick Clark; Paul McCartney, etc.  (sorry to rail on your parade)  I think one of the few ways a person can look younger is to stay fit...so regular exercise, good idet, and take care of themselves.  The important issue here, is not look OLDER than you are.  And, I've seen several people, who are my age, who look 5-10 years older than they are.  That's probably because of all that drinking, smoking, and drugging people do!

I didn't write this piece to take a trip down Ego Street, or to "toot my horn," because I don't  need that.  But, I can only share with you my own experiences on the subject of age, and if there's anything I'm an "expert" at...is staying fit!  In 2006, I'm 61 years young, and I can tell you with great pleasure, that nobody ever guseeses my age...they don't even come close.  Most people guess my age to be in my late forties or early 50's.  The last person who guessed my age put me put me at 51.

I'm always delighted when this happens, but looking young doesn't come from a face-lift or a pill out of a bottle.  It comes from staying fit.  I've walked/jogged 10-15 miles a week and "pumped aluminum," since 1986 .  I watch my diet, get a flu shot and a physical every year.  I don't do this to look young...I do it to stay healthy.  If looking young comes with the package, then it's frosting on the cake.

A few years ago, I worked with a woman who told me, "Jerry, you don't 'act' old!  I had no idea what she meant by that, so she explained.  She said, that she's oberserved people in their 40's and 50's walk around all slumped over like they're 60 or 70 years old; whining and complaining about their ailments; they can barely move from place to place; dragging their behind around in slow-motion and so forth! 

I never gave it any thought, so I decided to abserve a few 40 and 50 year olds.  She was right!  I saw these OLD-looking 40 and 50 year olds lumbering, anddragging their behinds, around the company and around town...looked like they were just making it.  Do you really think a face-life is going to make these people look younger or tucking everything where the sun don't shine is going to help?  The most exercise some of these people get all year long is clicking and double-clicking! 

I don't think age is as important as to how the individual feels, etc.  I'm 61, but I feel 35 and I feel like I can beat anybody at anything.  On the dance floor...I want all those OLD people...all you OLD 40 and 50 year olds to get off the dance floor!  Take your crutches; your wheelchairs and your self-pity with you!  And, let this 60 year old show you how to shake your booty!  I've been around since the beginning of rock and roll, and I'll show you how to do it!

For those of you have just hit the 40 mark, you have many perks waiting for you and I'll give you a few. 

* Now that you're 40, you should have the bigots and the people of hate discriminate
  against you when you're looking for a job!  Expect to look for a job about 5-10 years! 

* If you already have a job, and you're over 40 years of age, don't wait for a promotion
  any time soon.  That's the way it works...I'm sorry I have to rain on your parade.

* At 40, you are now eligible to be called names such as old geezer; fuddy-duddy; and you are now consedered to be unproductive.  Isn't that something to look forward to?

Does life begin at 40...50...or 60?  I can tell you one thing for sure...you're getting old when:

* A fortune teller offers to read your face...rather than the lines in your hand!

*  You sink your teeth into a steak...and they stay there.

*  You look forward to a dull evening

* Dialing long distance wears you out.

* Your back goes out more than you do!

* Your little black book only contains names that end with MD.

* Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt...doesn't work.

* Your knees buckle...but your belt won't.

* You feel like the morning after...but you haven't been anywhere.

For me...as far as age is concerned...I just have to be myself...and grow old gracefully!  As to what I think about young people, and all those people UNDER 60 years of age...I HATE ALL OF YOU! 
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Copyright; Jerry Aragon; 2007
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To all the young people out there...STAY IN SCHOOL!
Jerry Aragon/The Humor Doctor           humordoctormd@gmail.com
Main Street/Front Page                         Free Stuff/Come see
Site Map/site contents                          The Creative Center
Writers Section                                     The Humor Clinic
The Funny Farm                                   Book: BumpyRoad of Life