When kids are growing up and learn to speak the English language, it can be hilarious! An example, was when my son Jason, was growing up and he was about 3 to 4 years old, and I'll share with you how he spoke and destroyed the English language all by himelf. Maybe, you'll find a few things amusing about how he talked back then. For example:
For the word "cereal," Jason would pronounce it, "sillio;" the name of the city, "San Franscisco," he would say, "Sanchez-frisco"; the word "watermellon," he would say, "meller-mellon;" the word "helicopter," Jason would say, "hopter-copter;" the words "Christmas tree," Jason would say, "mimis tree;" the words, "potato chips," he would say, chater-chips," the old television series, Startsky and Hutch, Jason would call it, "Starchy and Hutch." If someone would mow the lawn, Jason would call it, "lawn-mowring." If someone wants something to drink, that person would probably say, "I want something to drink." But, not Jason...he would say, "me want sompin to wink!" Jason not only destroyed the English language, but he would make up words as he went along!
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How can a person look up a word in the dictionary, if a person doesn't know how to spell the word? Webster, help my out!
* fonetic; Where did you learn to spell, Jer? The word is spelled, Phonetic
* Filladelfia fillies; Sorry, Jer...the words are spelled, Philadelphia Phillies
* Zerox; (copy machine) You spelled it wrong, Jer. The word is spelled, xerox.
* numonia; Wrong again, Jer. The word is spelled Pneumonia
* Just a reminder, Jer, your failing the speling bee and your're grammer is terible.
* New Jersey; Spell it like it sounds. If you live in New Jersey, it's New Joisey!
* New York: Again, how is it pronounced? New Yolk
* Spell "window"; In the south, it's pronounced, "winder " and that's the way it's spelled. Wrong, Jer
* Plummer; The word is spelled, plumber, Jer. I spelled it like it sounds, Bubba!
* Spell Boston, a city in Massachusetts. In Boston, it's spelled, Baston...isn't it?
Have you ever visited Baston?
* Pill: in the south, the word is pronounced, "peel" and spelled the same way.
* Texas; In Texas, the word is reversed, and pronounced and spelled, "Taxes."
* Taxes: In Taxes, this word is pronounced Texas.
* Door; In the south, this word is pronounced and spelled, Doe or Do take your choice. Example: Will somebody please close the doe!
* Fillibuster: wrong; the word is spelled, Philibuster.
Slang: Why don't we add a little slang to the language to spice it up a bit: airhead; babyboomer; barf; bazillion; bod; bonkers; booboo; booze; bread (money); brewski; shut-eye; cheesy; cool (excellent); couch potato; foxy; hunk; dorky; el cheapo; fender-bender; flaky; flick; freebie; gek; go bannanas; shake your groove-thing; birthday suit; what's the skinny?; but it in a box; hang it on your ear; sit on it; you made your bed...
If you think the English language is screwy, take a look at your medicine cabinet. Medications you can't pronounce or even right...write? omeprazole; furosemide; metophrolol; losartan; buprepion; (p-l-e-e-z-e) I don't know how anyone can become a farmacist!
Cathy; Kathy; Carol, Carole, Carroll, Gerry, Jerry; Ann Anne; Betty; Bette; Jo, Joe; Terry, Terri; Cheryl; Sheryl; Bobby; Bobbi; Judy, Judi, Judee; Kelli, Kelly; John, Jon; Billie, Billy; Let me see...where did I put my Prozac...or is it Prosac...I'm having a nervous brakedown!
Wright; right; rite; dear, deer; doe, dough; (Whew, I'm getting a headache) Have you weitten somebody a Deer Jon letter? You know write from wrong, rite?
I think you can guess why Dr. McCollister didn't accept my final paper, although the paper didn't look like this. He's from Arizona, and maybe he doesn't have much of a sense of "Yuma!" (Get it?) In closing, I have only one word to summarize the English language...S----------C--------R----------E-----------E-----------M!!!!!!!!!!!